Rhetorical Outbursts

Yeah, letting terrorists out of jail early when you don’t even know the facts of the case is perfectly “reasonable.”  Don’t worry.  Jimmy Carter and a bunch of left-wing Congressmen who Hillary wants to curry favor with say it’s okay.  That’s not improper political influence over the Justice Department.

Thanks, Eric Holder.

UPDATE: Okay, this is too funny not to post. A transcript of Holder’s actual answers to the questions about this video are available at the New York Times. However, the parody below (emailed to me by a friend) is much more entertaining.

Sen. GRASSLEY: I’d like to show you an FBI surveillance video secretly recorded in a Chicago apartment and ask you some questions. This chilling video shows Edwin Cortes and Alejandria (sic) Torres. These were two of the terrorists who received clemency from President Clinton after you directed that the Justice Department change its recommendations. The video shows Cortes and Torres in the process of building a bomb. Were the two terrorists in this video in the group that you asked the pardon attorney to draft a positive recommendation for?

HOLDER: Senator, I can’t answer that question. I can’t be expected to remember the names of all the terrorists for which I have recommended pardons. I know that they had Spanish names of some sort.

GRASSLEY: OK. Well, as I said, their names were Edwin Cortes and Alejandria (sic) Torres. At the time you directed the pardon attorney to draft a neutral options memo, had you ever seen this video before?

HOLDER: No, but the soundtrack is awesome.

GRASSLEY: Are you weren’t aware that the video existed?

HOLDER: Absolutely not. My strict policy is to only recommend pardons for terrorists who are smart enough not to be videotaped while preparing their explosives.

GRASSLEY: Were you aware that after this video was taken, a search to the apartment led to the seizure of 24 pounds of dynamite, 24 blasting caps, weapons, disguises, false identification, and thousands of rounds of ammunition?

HOLDER: Well, sure. They wouldn’t be real terrorists if they didn’t have explosives and firearms, would they? Come on, Senator, be reasonable.

GRASSLEY: Were you aware that FALN terrorists threatened to kill the judge at their sentencing hearing?

HOLDER: But they didn’t actually kill the judge, now did they? My strict policy is never to recommend pardons for terrorists who actually kill the judge at their sentencing hearing. Sends the wrong message, I think.

* * *

GRASSLEY: Well, earlier today, you said in response to a question from Senator Sessions that the people who received clemency didn’t actually hurt anyone and that you thought that the granting them clemency was reasonable, but isn’t it true that the only person that the people in the video didn’t hurt anyone is — or why they didn’t hurt anyone — is because the FBI caught them before they got a chance to do their damage.

HOLDER: Yes, that might be so, but that is, nevertheless — you know, it’s a difference between let’s hypothetically say murder and attempted murder. If some — there’s an intervening act that stops the person from committing the crime that they wanted to do, the person’s intent is certainly nefarious and worthy of punishment but the ultimate crimes are fundamentally different ones. [editor’s note- no improvement possible]