Every American Must Read This

No, not this.

This (Hat tip: Screw Loose Change):

Consider the scenario….

(in a secret government meeting room, somewhere in a secret government location….)

* * *

“Sir, I have another great idea.”

“Let’s hear it Smith.”

“Let’s get a third plane and crash it into the Pentagon!”

“Wow. The Pentagon. I like the way your murderous mind works Smith. Somebody put three planes on the requisition list.”

“Well, instead of an actual plane, I was thinking we could just use a missile and tell the American public that it was a plane.”

“Hmm… so we don’t hijack a third airplane?

“Oh no, we still hijack a third plane, but we don’t crash it, instead we fire a missile into the Pentagon and say that it’s the plane we hijacked.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just crash an actual plane?”

“Well, yes, it would be easier. But I was talking with Stevens here, from the Office of Making Things Exponentially More Complicated Than Necessary, and he thinks that not only should we use a missile instead of the plane that we’re going to have to hijack anyway, we should offload all the passengers and crew somewhere else, kill them, and then return the plane to the airline.”

* * *

“Okay, so I think we’ve got it. We hijack three planes, crash two of them into the WTC which we’ve prewired to crumble into dust, take the third plane and disappear it long enough to murder the passengers and crew then return that plane to the airline (Stevens, make a note to find an evil airline that will go along with that) and fire a missile into the Pentagon that we will then claim is the missing airplane. Now that will definitely get us a war! The public will be outraged!!! So I guess we’re all decided…. Wait. As long as we’re destroying the twin towers, lets blow up that ugly little building on the side too. I never liked that building.”

(chorus) “Yes sir. You da man!”

“Sir? I recommend that we also crash a plane into Pennsylvania.”

“Pennsylvania? Into what, the Ben Franklin museum?”

“No. Just a field in Pennsylvania.”

“Smith, I like the idea of killing innocent Americans as much as the next government official, but we’ve already stretched ourselves pretty thin here. We’ve got to find evil contractors to help us blow up the WTC, evil capitalists who’re willing to profit from it even while they’re sitting in the building that they know is about to be hit by an airplane, murderers who will kill the passengers of the plane we’re not crashing and help dispose of the bodies, an evil airline to take the supposedly-crashed plane back, evil military types with missiles to launch one at the nation’s military command center… the list goes on and on. And I think we’ve got our war pretty well sewn up with what we’ve got here. I don’t see why we need to attack a Pennsylvania field.”

“Yes sir. But you haven’t heard the rest of my idea. Instead of just hijacking the plane and crashing it into the field - that would be easy enough - we’ll hijack the plane, fly it to Ohio, unload everyone (and kill them of course) then create a fake crash site in Pennsylvania and transport the bodies there along with some fake wreckage!”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just hijack the plane and crash it?”

“Well of course. But if we do it my way we could let literally hundreds MORE unnecessary people in on our plan!”

“You’re right Smith, when it comes to a huge secret conspiracy like we’re planning, the more people involved, the better.”

BACKGROUND: At War With Reality

RELATED: New Video Released, A Better Pentagon Image (with more links to sources of eyewitness accounts), and A 9/11 whodunit.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 17th, 2006 at 12:47 am and is filed under Funny and Frivolous, Global War on Terror. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.